Euro-Cool

I'm constantly surprised by what's considered "cool" in cycling. While one of the most visible affectations is hipsterism in all its self-deriding transendental smarminess, I'll leave that up to better writers. Instead, my curiousity is piqued by "euro-cool". It amazes me that just about anything that Euro pro cyclists wear ends up being adopted on this side of the pond. In the long-standing American tradition of the creation myth, I present to you the origins of some of euro-cool's signatures. Some true, mostly lies, hopefully entertaining.

Shoe covers when it's not cold out


You wear shoe covers because of problems with sponsors' shoes not fitting your pigeon toes? Wear DMT shoe covers, over those Sidi's, son. 

Embrocation

Need some nerve stimulation at night to keep your EPO-thickened blood flowing through your veins? Embrocation is born, and magazines are named after it.

Cycling caps

Once upon a time, cyclists didn't wear helmets. As such, they got brain-freeze headaches any time it was cooler than 50f, and sweat blinded their vision above 80f. They needed something to hold down the wet lettuce they used to cool their heads. They needed something to block locusts from their eyes during the Paris-Cairo. One brilliant soul put on a dandy cap of some kind, then chopped the brim down until he could see.

White bar tape

Originally a sign of European royalty - white gloves, white collars, white tape. If you're too good to put your own chain back on, then your tape stays fresh. This also explains shaved legs (hiding no cat5 tattoos) and colored tires (riding only on clean, well-traveled roads).

Tubulars

Racers used to shoot up all kinds of dope. Racers had experiences likened to 'floating' while riding on silk-walled tubulars. When they rode clinchers in training...sober...they didn't experience this same sensation. Nor did they hear their tires 'singing'. Now, in the post-amphetamine era, nobody can tell much of a difference. Surprised?

Barends

In Europe, mountain biking was originated by porteurs carrying (portaging) objects between towns...over mountains. As their racks became too full, they needed extra appendages to hang cheese, bread and traditional Swiss Vuvuzelas. While most of the vestigial knobs have disappeared, two have remained, on the ends of the handlebar of many a UCI xc racer. 

I hope you learned something today.